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Well hello, here I am 7 days into my current weight loss journey, which I am hoping will be my final journey. I really do. I’ve been here too many times before and at 44 I just want to be a regular size, have a normal cholesterol reading, boring bog standard blood pressure and knees that don’t ache. The answer to all this? Losing a significant amount of weight. I lost a stone earlier this year which I’ve managed to maintain, so I’m feeling chipper that perhaps I have finally learnt that the yo-yo behaviour of the last 20 ish years has to end. It’s just depressing, isn’t it? Does your weight yo-yo?
Yesterday I confessed how I’m doing it this time and today is the big moment of truth and good lord I am frightened of what the scales will say. I know that I should have lost weight - I’ve tracked my calories carefully, almost religiously. But somehow I still expect the scales to laugh in my face and say a higher count than before. Or even worse, half a pound lost. Now I know everyone always says ‘yes but any loss is a loss, it’s all good’ but we all know that’s not true. If you’re making significant and lasting changes, you want significant and lasting results. Then again, I didn’t get to be a woman who only wears Lycra in a few short weeks. I put a lot of work in to get this big and achy. So it’ll likely take a lot of work and time to get back to a better state of health.
And I want to address the elephant in the room, which is that I also want to lose weight because my mental health is compromised by being this large. I know that’s not true for everyone. Frankly I am in awe of larger people who can navigate this thin-rewarding world happily. I can’t. I feel like a wearier version of who I really am. I’m less out going, a bit shy almost, when I’m bigger. The weight takes so much away from me. I want it gone. I want me back.
For those wondering how it works with Mounjaro, you can’t just get it for losing a few pounds in January. It’s for those with a BMI of 30 or more. It reduces your appetite (you start on a low dose and work your way up to a ‘theraputic’ amount) and also reduces something called food noise. I’ll admit when this phrase was first uttered to me it made me want to throw something. (A Big Mac?)
Now look, all tribes have their own language. Legal folks talk ‘legalese’ - I’ve spent enough time in litigation to witness the nonsense that comes out of solicitors and barristers mouths/emails. How about ‘my learned friend’? Or ‘we’d be willing to make an offer without prejudice?’ Perhaps we might hear someone being accused of ‘frustrating proceedings’? Ugh. Shut up! Speak plain English and stop posturing behind tribal language.
I grew up in a house of tribal language; that of the police. Dinner chat was about ‘RTA’s’ and ‘section blah blah of the blah blah act’. I forget. Then whilst training to be a midwife I learnt how to converse in hospitals with nurses, doctors and the like. Abbreviations were very popular. ‘PE’ wasn’t a popular form of torture administered by teachers wearing joggers, but instead a very serious thing indeed. A pulmonary embolism no less. There were also FBC’s, EDD’s, FHR’s… Later in the world of advertising there were PPM’s, PPPM’s and sometimes PPPPM’s! Seriously.
So of course Mounjaro (or MJ as we call it) people have their own language. Of course! Food noise is one of their (our?) main obsessions. The definition being when you’re preoccupied with food, all the time. Planning, buying, eating, working your life around opportunities to eat. That’s food noise.
When I read about this I was a bit flummoxed. Food noise? Isn’t thinking about food all the time just how humans are? Isn’t that normal? Doesn’t everyone think about what they’re eating at their next meal before they finish the one they’re shovelling down? No? Oh. Apparently it’s not normal. Did you know? Are you like me? Or are you ‘normal’?
So last Tuesday I injected myself with 2.5mls of Mounjaro, straight into my tummy. It hurt about as much as plucking a hair. So barely at all. I should be clear that I have neither a high or low pain threshold. The instructions were lengthy and frankly, a bit much. I think they could consolidate them, but perhaps the wordiness and the ritual is all part of the plan? Maybe the MJ crew need this as part of the process.
I didn’t feel anything straight away, in fact I went to a sound bath at the yoga studio and tried to relax. It was hard to focus on the task in hand given how excited I was about MJ. When I got home that night I resurrected MyFitnessPal app and logged all my stats. I felt sad to see just how much I’ve gained since I last used the app, but hey, this is where we are. Oh and I took photos of myself in a bikini the day before too. Everyone on the Reddit forum says you MUST do this, even if it’s emotionally painful. They say that you’ll be annoyed with yourself if you don’t, as you’ll never be able to see how far you’ve come. And you know, Reddit types are often correct, so I dutifully shaved (TMI?), donned a bikini and took some photos. I couldn’t stop laughing when I stood in front of the mirror. I even said to myself, out loud, ‘oh Holly what have you done?’ and I’m not usually one for chattering away to myself. Let’s just say, I’m glad I’m not famous and in danger of getting hacked.
So each day my aim for protein is 100g. Lowest I can go to is 70g. And calories wise my upper daily limit is 1350. The protein thing is to stave off hunger and also to make sure your hair doesn’t fall out. This is extreme stuff. We’re not counting points here folks. Breakfast is usually yoghurt and fruit. Lunch is chicken, pitta bread, red pepper and tomatoes or something lentil based. Dinner is steak or fish, new potatoes, carrots etc. Snack wise I’m enjoying bananas, lots of milk in tea and protein bars. A pint of water with an electrolyte fizzy tab in after breakfast too. You get the idea.
Side effects have been mild for me. I’ve been lucky. I had aching joints on day 3 which needed painkillers, but then I may have just been a bit poorly. I’ve had some insomnia, but I can live with that. Oh and from a gastro point of view, because that’s what we’re all interested in, I can report that I have not sh*t myself. Not once. In fact, if anything, MJ slows down your GI tract, so you have to keep your fibre topped up to keep everything moving. For me, who feels everything through my stomach, this is welcome.
And now to explain how it feels. I think there’s a common misconception that taking anything to help with weight loss is ‘cheating’. MJ isn’t a magical cure for obesity. You don’t just inject yourself and carry on eating like you did before. Well, I mean, you can, but you'd probably feel rotten, maybe vomit and probably wouldn’t lose any weight. It’s not a fat melting wonder drug. It just makes you crave less food. And makes you think less about food. I still get hungry and want to eat. Now this may change. It’s only week 1 after all. The main thing I’ve noticed is that carrots and peppers taste super super sweet, like Haribo level, and also that I’m not popping into the kitchen of an evening and snuffling for treats. I’m also not feeling the need to finish leftovers. Placebo? Maybe. Will power? God I hope so. Standard GLP-1 agonist stuff? Probably.
And what will I do when/if I reach my goal weight? (What even is my goal weight? More on that another day). How will I stop myself from over eating again and being back at square 1. Hmmm, that’s the big question isn’t it? That’s why I’m tracking everything on an app. I’m trying to re-educate myself on portion size, calories, protein. I know all this stuff, but I need to live it if I’ve any hope of having a healthier midlife. I’m hoping that over the course of the next few months the habits will become ingrained. Then, after that, when I’m off MJ, I’ll be weighing myself regularly. Now I know that’s not a good idea for everyone. I was a teenage anorexic; I get it. But for me this is essential. I’m a bugger for merrily ignoring the signs that I’m piling on weight. Leggings, and their ability to expand, are not my friend for this reason.
Okay, so here’s the weigh in update: when I weighed myself last week I was
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