April 2025 Newsletter

What’s been going on

Apr 04, 2025

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In my head

Well what a month March was. How was yours? Mine felt, a bit heart-racy, a bit frenetic, a bit… much.

Back when I was just fresh out of the Bake Off machine (2011) I had a very large dose of online nastiness. It was my first experience of it, given that until then I’d used social media for personal use on the whole. I’d begun blogging a year or so earlier and had experienced the odd comment that wasn’t 100% pleasant, but nothing that made me cry. (I’m lying, one did).

Cue being broadcast to the UK on BBC2. Wow, just wow. Tweets tagging me with rants about my poor baking skills, many the message from (usually) young men telling me the only reason I’d done well in the Bake Off tent was because I was giving Paul Hollywood sexual favours (vomit), even threads on TV addict message boards about my previous romantic relationships and what my exes thought about me between the sheets. (No point in googling, they’re no longer up).

I think the high and the low point was Lily Allen tweeting that I was a cheat for creating three macaron flavours and only switching up the fillings, not the shells. Actually, maybe the true low point was fellow contestants Janet and Mary-Ann tweeting each other about me and the former not realising everyone could read her thoughts. Schadenfreude was mentioned. Nice.

I felt under siege, scared of my laptop, scared of my phone. It was deeply unpleasant and yet in a masochistic fashion, quite addictive. I cried a lot. I used to be ashamed to admit to this, that teenage boys and their slurs made me cry, that I hated being disliked by fellow contestants, that Lily would like me if only she hung out with me for a cuppa and a macaron or two, even if the shells were the same flavour. These days I don’t experience feelings of shame very often. Why? Midlife? Years of mothering? Divorce? Dunno. I just am who I am and I can’t be anything else.

But, turns out I can still feel that heart fluttering stress upon opening my laptop, and guess where that came from last month? HERE! There I was thinking Substack was a nice space, friendly, feminine, funny, tongue in cheek. It was the online space of my dreams. But as many of us have come to learn in recent years, your social media feed is just an echo chamber and if you write something that brings those from outside your yard into your realm, well, be prepared for feedback.

Since writing two ‘think’ pieces I have been told I am a disappointment, snarky, a bully and my favourite, ‘just jealous no one wants to give your fat geriatric ugly ass a cooking show or a Prince x’. Yes, sealed with a kiss.

Sigh. I like writing opinion pieces, it makes my brain hurt a bit, like writing essays used to. I like hearing what other people think too. It’s interesting. But, I don’t know just how much of my life I want to spend reading comments about my ‘fat ass’, there’s just better ways to spend my time. Fact is, if you raise your head with a ‘hot take’ prepare to get burnt.

Anyway, that was my month. April will be quieter for sure. I’ll mainly be keeping my opinions to myself.

In my basket

I love the jaunty design of these notebooks. And I’m always looking for a new place to scribble, aren’t you?

One of the less joyful realities of dog ownership is picking up after them. These bags are huge, sturdy and make me laugh. Winner.

My boyfriend turned 39 (cue: mid life crisis in full swing) and one of his presents from me was a print from Remembering an Oyster. The names make me laugh but then I am immature.

For the book collector in your life:

A fish purse? Why yes of course.

We have two mint toothpaste haters in the house so imagine my joy at finding the beautifully designed and delicious tasting Hismile toothpaste! So far the faves are vanilla for one child and watermelon for another.

This is reader supported, which means that the more of you who subscribe the more time I can spend writing. If that sounds like a good thing then there’s a handy button below. There are free and paid options. Paid means better quality poo bags for Teddy our Golden Retriever and a possibility of trying coconut whip toothpaste. You decide:

Listening/reading/watching/visiting

Listening & Reading

This is just a lovely dip in and out book. A Bird a Day - does what it says on the tin.

I am part way through listening to Butter and let me tell you, it’s worthy of your time. The tale of a friendship between a journalist and a female serial killer via the discussion of fine food, with an emphasis on butter. Translated from Japanese, this is an unctuous book. I look forward to listening every day and am rip-roaring through it. Lots of comment on female bodies, food, attraction and transactional relationships. The narrator has a beautiful voice.

Watching

Took the youngest to see Flow at the cinema. Animal noises only, really beautiful, engrossing. A U certificate.

Guess what?

It caused A LOT of tears. So much jeopardy, near drownings, goodness me, it was a ride. Watch but be warned.

First look at series 2 of The Change | Bridget Christie's comedy to return next year

I was so excited to see The Change was back with a second series. It’s good but it’s not quite up there with the first series. Still loved it, especially the local 60 plus women asking for advice on how to record ‘hand jobs, mouth jobs and bum jobs’ in their ledger of domestic unpaid chores.

Need I say anymore about Adolescence? I wrote about it here if you’re interested. Just please don’t leave aggressive comments. Open chat for sure, just let’s be polite even when disagreeing. You know the drill.

Links you might like

This is one of the saddest and most heartfelt things I ever did read. What I learnt when my mother left.
Really enjoying this fledgling newsletter for people who hanker after starting their own business. Great interviews.
How to survive narcissism.

On my table

I’ve been making a lot of brioche. And meringues. And banana bread. Want my easy peasy meringue recipe? It’s so simple:

Weigh your egg whites. Add double the amount of caster sugar. Whisk like crazy until you have stiff peaks. I add all the sugar in one go. I know! Bonkers but it works fine. Bake low (100C) and long after piping onto the shiny side of foil lined trays (stick the foil down to the tray with a tiny bit of meringue). They’re ready when they’re kind of ivory in colour and lift off the foil without leaving any residue, about 1 - 2 hours depending on the size of the nests/shapes. I cool mine in the oven with the door open to minimise cracks. But honestly, who cares! This isn’t Bake Off, it’s real life. Embrace the cracks.

Topped some with whipped double cream and fresh strawberries. So good.

Making and Mending

I made Scott and Ted matching denim jackets with a jaunty vintage block printed tablecloth lining. One day when I win the lottery I will dedicate my life to making matching clothes for owners and their dogs. I’ll have an Etsy shop and will sell one set per month. It’ll be all I can handle what with my millionaire status.

What a handsome fella.

You may have missed

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Last months posts have included:

My sons go to a school like the one in Netflix’s Adolescence. Want to know what it’s really like?
An update on my Mounjaro ‘journey’ (ugh I hate that word too!)
Well, I wrote a tongue in cheek piece on Meghan’s new show and it went a bit bonkers. I kept the comments open for a day or so and then lost my nerve. You can read it here.
A little dear diary piece on how perception is reality, even if you just don’t feel it’s your truth.

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My month in pictures