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Today marks the end of week five of MJ. (If you want to read about week 1 and my weigh in after 7 days on MJ, then you can do so here, week 2 here, week 3 here, week 4 here).
So today is a big day as it’s when I move up from 2.5mls to 5mls. This is the one where most people really feel some side effects. The Reddit forums are full of stories of glum folk who’ve been fine and dandy on 2.5mls… sailed along. Then wham! They’re bed ridden, calling in sick to work for a day or four. I’m nervous and not complacent. I am well aware I could be felled by MJ this week. But this is a process, and I am nothing but old testament in my need for punishment to atone for my sins. If it’s painful and miserable then so be it. Let it be a lesson to me!
If you’re counting up the weeks and wondering why I’m only starting on 5mls after 5 weeks, rather than 4, then you’ve spotted a glitch. Well done! Turns out there’s more than an extra shot’s worth left in the pen from the first month of 4 doses of 2.5mls. I’m not going to suggest you do the same and break the pen to get it out, I’m not going to suggest you google how to do it and scour Mumsnet boards and the like, I’m not going to instruct you, no, but I’m letting you know this is what I did.
Okay so the good, the bad and the ugly this week. Let’s start with bad:
I am bruising very easily. I have small dark bruises under my boobs where the dog has pounced me. They don’t look very nice but then who is going to notice, so I don’t really count this as a dreadful side effect.
Bowel habits. Look, there’s no getting away from it, MJ can make you constipated. I’ve been okay so far. Some poor souls have been trying manual removal. If you don’t know what that is, maybe don’t google it and just think: hand + bottom = result. Last week I felt like I needed to keep an eye on ‘things’ so I upped my electrolyte tablets. Except I didn’t look at the new container and accidentally took the ones with super strength magnesium. Don’t do this. It’s not pleasant. I won’t go into detail.
I’ve noticed 5 or 6 small white spots on my face each morning. In fact this has been happening for some time now. I wonder if it’s the vast quantity of dairy I’ve been eating? Anyway, they’re tiny and not proper hormonal spots. Easily sorted.
I am finding that the only way to stop myself feeling quite unwell after eating, is to stagger my meals and make them smaller. Little and often, otherwise I just don’t hit my protein quota (100g per day). This is annoying. I love a full plate, me. (Ref: how I ate myself into obesity). I’ve tried a ‘regular’ sized plate of food, which is fine whilst I’m eating it, but 20 minutes later I am full of regret with stomach ache and a rising nausea. I actually think this is a good thing in the long run. Retraining my habits is part of why I chose MJ over other methods. It takes TIME. Months. And as we all know, repeatedly doing the same things is the only way to make them part of your routine, huh?
The afternoon slump is real. Around 4pm each day I feel so tired I could sleep standing. Not ideal timing given that’s when I start the boy’s dinner. Oh well, Diet Coke was invented for a reason.
The good:
I look visibly thinner for the first time. My face has slimmed, my upper arms are coming back in line with my lower arms. Someone at school (who knows about MJ) stopped me and said they could really tell the difference and it felt good. I love a bit of praise and validation.
(Sports day ready, hat and all).
My wardrobe is now a place of emerging joy. There are still absolutely a lot of items I won’t even dare to try on, but some I have, and guess what? They fit! Today I wore a pair of jeans from Monki that still had the tags on them. I’m one of THOSE people with a wardrobe full of unworn treasures. The jeans have a 36 inch waist, so it’s not like I’m worrying my old Levi’s with a resurrection, but it felt good to wear denim again. They didn’t do up when I bought them, but they’re now loose, which is how I like all clothing. HATE. TIGHT. THINGS.
The ring I wear on my middle finger is so loose it almost came off the other day when I was hanging out the washing. I bought the ring in Las Palmas, on a lovely city break Scott and I enjoyed alone. We stopped by a hipster little coffee shop with a corner concession of handmade jewellery, clothes and the like. I saw a pretty silver ring and picked it up. The barista flew over, shook his head, snatched it from me and barked that I had to wait until he was free to touch anything. He looked me up and down as he said this, and I knew, just knew that he found me repulsive. He was snake hipped, as were all the other patrons. I was a big, waddling, middle aged woman. All puffed up and pale and plain fat. It felt deeply unpleasant, this overt display of body hatred. We ordered coffee whilst I waited to be allowed to touch the rings. Our order came after others who were further back in the queue. We were made to wait, which Scott remarked hadn’t happened to him when he’d visited alone the morning before. Each coffee arrived on a saucer, mine with a tiny slice of complimentary banana cake on the side. The barista smirked at me. These are the kind of things that happen to fat people all the time, but we just shrug and think ‘well we kind of deserve it’ and don’t kick up a fuss. If I were a warrior I’d seek to change the world, but I am too tired for that, so instead I will fit in better, and my health will benefit into the bargain.
So the weigh in, after 5 weeks of MJ? Are you ready?
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